I grew up as an Army BRAT and moved around a bit when I was younger; I went to 5 different elementary schools and a high school was outside of my neighborhood district.
THIS could explain why I’m always itching to leave a place after a few years…but that’s beside the point (and probably something worth unpacking at my next therapy session — haha).
From a small town near Baltimore, Maryland to Tampa, Florida; St. Petersburg, Florida to Phoenix, Arizona; Phoenix Arizona, to Fairbanks, Alaska. As an adult, I moved to 3 states over the past 11 and made tons of amazing friends along the way.
From those experiences, I bring you 6 tips or ideas on how you can make friends when you are new in town. I tried each tip at least once and had success making friends. I also share four bonus tips for making friends if you are in college/university.
- Sign up for an adult recreational sport.
- Join a yoga/gym/dance studio.
- Hang out at the park (or dog park).
- Find a mutual.
- Befriend your coworkers.
- Use the apps.
1. Sign up for an adult recreational sport.
If you are sporty like me, playing a sport is a great way to make friends as an adult. I played on intramural soccer and flag football teams while in college and had an amazing team that I continued to play soccer with through those four years.
As a real adult, I joined an adult recreational kickball league in Tampa and a soccer league in St. Petersburg. Both teams were a lot of fun and kept me active. Talk about a great way to connect with others.
I even introduced a close friend to the kickball team and she kept playing with them when I stopped and moved away!
I loved having weekly meetups with people to hang out and get to know one another. We even would get together outside of the sport at house parties and dinners. Joining an adult recreational sport is a great way to make new friends.
2. Join a yoga/gym/dance studio.
The next idea is also an active one, but this time indoors!
Look for a yoga studio, group fitness gym, or dance studio in your town and sign up for classes. I have made friends from each of these places in every state I’ve lived in.
Another great idea is to join workshops or recurring classes to have better opportunities to connect with people versus attending a one-off class. In Fairbanks, I attended weekly adult aerial classes as part of an Intro to Aerial Arts 8-week course and made a few good friends from attending those classes.
I was even invited to perform at a summer festival through the connections I made.
When joining these organizations or taking these classes in something you are interested in, it is easier to connect with a potential friend as an adult since you already have something in common — the class!
3. Hang out at the park (or dog park).
If you haven’t realized this yet, I love spending time outside.
I would go for runs around Phoenix neighborhoods and spend time hula hooping in parks. Through this, I met several neighbors who exchanged numbers with me, were extremely friendly, and invited me into their homes.
It may be the hoops, but it may be the common interest in human connecting and building community.
If you are a dog mom, this tip is also applicable to dog parks. When you go to the dog park around the same time on the same days, you will start to recognize others who are on the same schedule as you. Strike up a conversation with the recognizable faces and see what happens. It is definitely possible to transition this casual relationship into a friendship.
4. Find a mutual.
Do you know that one friend who is always introducing her friends to her other friends and loves it when those friends become friends and hang out together on their own without her?
I am that friend.
I say this to say that there are others out there who are like me and are more than happy to share their connections with you in the hope of you making a new friend.
When you move to a new town as an adult, think about who in your social circle or family may know someone in that town. Having a mutual friend is like the ultimate litmus test. If your friend is already close with this person, they are probably cool, right?
Heck, you can even post on your social media account asking for potential friends. I did this recently after my move to Fairbanks and connected with an awesome lady who I now consider a good friend.
Back when I used Instagram, I posted on my Story asking folks to send me information on any hula hoopers they know in Alaska. My close friend from Portland sent me the account information for this lady she met at a hula hoop retreat in Costa Rica the year before. I reached out back in February 2024 and we agreed to meet up that summer. Fast forward to May 2024, the Alaskan lady invited me to hang out with her and her family at an event 6 hours south of me in Girdwood. So I agreed. We had a blast together and I look forward to spending more time with her and her family in the future.
You never know who may know someone who lives near your town or has a connection there, that could turn into a great friendship for you.
5. Befriend your coworkers.
This suggestion may be taboo, but some of my closest friends in Phoenix were my former coworkers.
At the time they were my coworkers.
We spent a lot of time together in the office and eventually got to know each other pretty well outside of the office. It made working a lot more fun, having that sort of kinship made the long nights pushing to meet deadlines a little bit more tolerable.
If there is someone you get along with in the office, bring it up with them to hang out outside of the office one day. I found it easier to get together as a small group before one-on-one hangouts, but either method should work for you. You already spend 8+ hours a day with these people, so you should have a pretty good idea of who you could connect with outside of work and have as a potential friend.
I totally understand why some people like to keep their personal and professional lives separate, I am just someone who had an extremely positive experience becoming close friends with my coworkers and do not regret merging that boundary.
6. Use the apps.
We live in a day and age where technology is woven into our lives. You might as well make the best of it and use it to our advantage!
Facebook groups, Meet Up groups, and Bumble BFF are all great options to find potential friends.
In Fairbanks, there is a Facebook group for almost every activity. When I lived in Phoenix, I connected with a friend on Bumble BFF who was there for me as I got over a breakup. We shared a lot of fun memories.
Technology does not always need to be the enemy. These tools are great to use to find potential friends who are also looking to connect with someone who has similar interests to them.
Bonus College Tips
If you are in college or university, here are four bonus tips on how you can make friends while in school during those few years as a young adult.
1. Join campus clubs that interest you
Most universities have countless opportunities for you to join any club that interests you. Through these organizations, you can connect with like-minded individuals who you’ll likely see at weekly or biweekly meetings.
I loved being a part of an environmental-focused organization and even attended a rally 1,000 miles away during my first year in school.
2. Find a study group in your major
My engineering study group was made up of the funniest individuals.
I probably spent the most time with this group over the four years at college. It is helpful to have a study group with folks in your major who can build you up as you attend classes, work on homework, and study for exams. They become coworkers of sorts, people who you’ll spend a whole lot of time with and get to know pretty well during sustained hours of being together.
And just like how coworkers can make the job more enjoyable, a good study group can make rough classes a bit more enjoyable.
3. Live on campus
Is it the proximity principle that states we gain affinity to those things closest to us? I will need to look that up to confirm,1 but there is definitely truth to the positive benefits you get when you share a dorm room with someone.
I am still extremely close to one of my roommates from college and made countless friendships and memories with many others from the dormitory.
Try living at least one if not more years on campus to have that accessibility to people you can hang out with, talk to, and share experiences with. College and university is a great time to be social and make connections.
4. Join a sorority/fraternity
If it is financially viable for you, I recommend joining an organization to make friends. Although my entire thought about these organizations and my experience in one is a long, drawn-out, convoluted thought, it was an overall net positive experience.
Some of my closest friends today I met in that organization.
Perhaps, in the future, I will dive deeper into my thoughts…but that will be for another day and another post.
Thank you so much for reading! I hope you found this useful and are willing to try one of these ways to meet friends in town. I find that it takes me about a year to adjust to a new place fully and have a solid group of friends, so do not be discouraged if it takes you some time to truly connect with someone and find your tribe.
- Proximity principle. (2024, February 15). In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proximity_principle ↩︎
