There are two types of people in this world: those who do life and those who let life do them. I identify as the former. If you’d like to learn how to no longer be in the passenger seat, I encourage you to keep reading for my 7 tips to take accountability for your own life. I also share 4 affirmations at the end to help remind you that you are in control of your life.
You are in control.
You could be in a relationship, from a family of 10 siblings, and have dozens of friends and I would still claim the sole person responsible for what happens in YOUR life is YOU. What happens to you in your life is not up to your parents, your partner, or even your kids.
The first and arguably most important step to being accountable for your life is to recognize this as truth and know that you are in control of both what happens in your life and how you respond to what happens in your life. It is not possible to take responsibility for your life if you do not believe you have the power to maneuver through all situations.
Note: Depending on your beliefs, life may be pre-planned by a high power, controlled by your thoughts, or a series of randomness. Perhaps not everything that enters your life you can control, but it is imperative to believe that you are in control of how you respond to these events — both pleasantries and tragedies.
No one is going to save you.
This goes hand in hand with the first tip and can be a difficult pill to swallow when entering adulthood.
When you became the legal adult age, which is 18 in the USA, your former caretaker was no longer required to care for you. As someone who attended a 4-year University, I understand the caretaker still somewhat influenced and supported my life through these years so my wake-up call did not occur until well after I was 18, at age 21/22.
You are an adult. It is time to put on your own muck boots and walk through the mud by yourself. It is no one else’s responsibility to free you from whatever situation you find yourself in.
People are already dealing with so much of their own crap it would be ludicrous to have the constant expectation that they should ALSO carry your bag of crap for you.
Your word is the most important thing you have.
All I think about is the quote from The Four Agreements: “Be impeccable with your word.”1 Say what you mean and mean what you say. If you had all of your money, accomplishments, and personal possessions stripped away, what are you left with?
Your word.
Own what you say and take responsibility for any repercussions of what you say. I am not suggesting that everything you say must be of good intention and kindness, although that is a nice thing to practice. What I am suggesting is that no matter what you say, kind or not, be prepared to support your decision to verbally release the words into the universe.
The value of what you say is diminished if you cannot be trusted because you constantly backtrack what you say.
Do what you say you will do and follow through.
One of the most important things you can do to take accountability in your life is to follow through with whatever you say you will do.
Your words have meaning and that meaning is lost if you do not follow through with actions that support your words.
This extends from not only what you tell your friend or parent you will do but also what you tell yourself you will do. Stick to the plan you set out for yourself and take action on those things.
If you tell your friend you will meet them at the park at 10 am, be at the park by 10 am. If you tell yourself you are going to skip dessert this week, do not buy ice cream when you are grocery shopping.
Hold yourself to your word.
Trust that you’ll make the right decision for your life.
I believe in you.
Your subconscious knows what is best for you and will not lead you astray. I trust your gut feeling and you should trust it, too. Know that you are doing the best you can with the information you have and are going down the perfect path for you.
While it is okay and even helpful to seek counsel from others, know that at the end of the day, you are living your life and making decisions for yourself.
You deep down inside know what is right for you.
Even if on the surface level you make a choice you think is the right choice, there is always that feeling of doubt in those times because you do truly know what you should do. Instinct. We all have it and it is time for you to believe in yourself and use it.
Now, I know I took a break from making blunt statements, but I mean this. You are doing great. And, don’t worry, we will be back to the harshness after this section…
Stop being the victim. Start being the creator.
Let’s revisit what I mentioned earlier. There are two types of people in this world: those who do life and those who let life do them. It is time for you to be the creator of your life.
- Victims have their life happen to them and believe things are always out of their control. Creators recognize their involvement in what they see around them and take action to change when they do not enjoy what they see.
- Victims wallow in pity when something negative happens to them. Creators move forward during times of adversity.
- Victims are stagnant and stay in situations they are unhappy in. Creators are ever-growing and adapting to newness as they evolve.
Be the creator.
Note: It may be esoteric for me to say this, but the world we see is a reflection of what we create in our minds, in our thoughts, and in our beliefs. Take responsibility for what you’ve created up until this point and be energized to change it into whatever you truly want moving forward.
Don’t make excuses.
It is time for you to take accountability for what happens in your life.
You may not have chosen the family you grew up in or the circumstances in which you were raised, but you do have control over what you do next. (Though we could go down the rabbit hole of our souls choosing lives and scenarios for us to live out…but that’s a topic for another day).
Life is easy when everything feels good and fun, but what really separates those who take responsibility for their life and those who do not, is what happens after hardship. Who is able to move through it with strength and grace and make it out of the other side stronger than ever? I believe you are strong and capable and able to create and live a life you truly desire.
Excuses are useless. No one is happy to hear an excuse and excuses certainly do not change the outcome of a situation. Take ownership of your role in what happens in your life and push yourself forward; the world is already doing it, with or without you.
Affirmations
Thank you for reading. I hope you found this helpful. Below I share four affirmations you can repeat to yourself as you move toward taking responsibility for your life.
- I am in control.
- My words matter.
- I trust myself.
- I am the creator.
Say these phrases in the morning or when you are feeling stuck in a situation. I look forward to hearing how changing this mindset helps you move forward in life and allows you to take full accountability for what happens. Leave a comment to share your progress!
Check out this post to learn my 7 tips for living an intentional life.
- Ruiz, Don Miguel. The Four Agreements. Amber-Allen Publishing, Inc. 1997. 25. ↩︎
